Kien Giang "Flew well but landed poorly"

I use this expression a lot.  It's a line for the 1979 movie "Just You and Me Kid" starring George Burns and  Brooke Shields.  It is the tale of a 15 year old run away drug mule, who shacks up with a former Vaudeville star (Burns) in order to get away from her drug dealing 30 something boyfriend.  Shots are fired,  hilarity ensues,  and next thing you know Shields is adopted by Burns' daughter and son in-law,  with Burns having visitation rights on weekends.  I don't know if "The Girls Next Door" is still on,  but I think they may be missing out on a pretty good story line.  But I digress,  This week after a rousing,  uplifting, almost head banging service at Holy Trinity United Church of Christ,  Carolyn, myself, and our hosts for the day Nikki and Kim headed to Kien Giang Vietnamese Restaurant in hopes of sampling some of Nashville's finest Vietnamese fare.  Lets suffice it to say,  that if this is the best Nashville has to offer then someone needs to learn how to make a decent bowl of Pho and they would be sitting on a gold mine.

I chose Kien Giang amongst the multitude of Asian restaurants on Charlotte Pike (5845 Charlotte Pike) because I was told it was the best. My tour mates and I have been in search of a good bowl of Pho,  and a great Banh Mi for awhile now,  and with this project I figured I could kill 2 birds with one stone.  Everything about this place screamed that it was going to be the place of my dreams.  It was hidden away,  it was pretty run down,  the decor was early Vietnamese flea market (all of which was available for purchase) and it was full of Asian people (the generally accepted mark that a restaurant is of a high caliber)

I had read many reviews prior to my adventure and most said the same thing,  the food is good,  the prices are right,  and the service sucks.  This was all fine with me,  I don't think I have ever experienced stand out service in authentic holes in the wall.  That's not really the point,  the point of these places is to make you feel as if you are sitting in grandma's kitchen in Ho Chi Minh City, and eating something that blows your mind.  Essentially the food should speak for itself,  who cares if your water glass doesn't get refilled.

oops got a little excited and took a bite before the pic :)

So enough ranting,  and on with the review.  The menu was standard Vietnamese fare,  Pho in all flavors and sizes,  noodle dishes,  Banh Mi, assorted spring and summer rolls (fresh and fried),  etc.  Since I knew what I was coming there to try i needed to only pick out my flavors of Banh Mi and Pho.  My thought was if you do these two things right,  the rest of the food follows suit.  I settled on a Shredded Pork Banh Mi ($2.75) and a small bowl of Pho with rare beef and beef balls ($4.95)

Our first course came out pretty promptly,  the Banh Mi for me,  and an assortment of Spring and Summer rolls for the ladies.  For those of you who don't know what a Banh Mi is,  it is a Vietnamese style sandwich. Literally translated as "bread" it originated during it's colonial period when Vietnam was part of French Indochina.  Traditionally a Banh Mi is constructed on a French loaf and consists of pate (as a spread),  pickled vegetables such as carrots, daikon radish, and cucumbers,  sprigs of cilantro,  slices of jalapeño,  butter or mayo and your choice of meats.  Generally the meat is pork (shredded,  roasted, BBQ, or steamed, as well as cured deli style meats like mortadella,  and spiced ham) although I have seen chicken and beef before I don't think it is traditional, but rather a way of appeasing the American palate.  Kien Giang had 4 choices of Banh Mi,  shredded pork,  bbq pork, meatball with tomato sauce (really.....are they trying to make a meatball sub) and something else that was so far off from what a Banh Mi should be I stopped reading.  I went with the shredded pork,  which arrived and at first glance i thought maybe everything was gonna be ok.  Strike # 1,  the bread,  now you can't necessarily blame them for bad bread cause to be honest good bread can be hard to find in this town.  A perfect Banh Mi starts with a french loaf that is chewy on the inside,  with a slightly crispy "skin" that you would find on a NY style bagel.  This was not that,  it was a club roll that on sunday afternoon was probably a day or two old.  What better way to served old bread?  well toast it of course making the airy inside dry out,  and the crisper out side turn to dust when you  bite into it.  Strike #2 no pate or condiments of any sort.  Strike # 3 Veggies were not pickled (and when I say veggies I basically mean a whole bunch of daikon radish, and one strand each of carrot and cucumber) Strike # 4 no jalapeños.  this I get because the masses may not like spicy,  but an option would have been nice.  and finally strike # 5 the pork.  I've been a cook for awhile now,  and I would be hard pressed to figure out a way to replicate this "pork".  They were tiny worm like pieces,  that looked way to processed to be "shredded" my guess is that it is pork parts prepared McNugget style in some factory,  passed thru a die, bagged and flash frozen,  then sent of to every Vietnamese restaurant that has lost their soul where it is reheated and dumped on to a shit sandwich similar to my own.  That may have been a little bit harsh,  I'm sorry.

Large, small, and kidz Pho with accompaniments

So course number one was an epic fail,  but I still had hope.  The Pho was on its way.  To get back into positive territory for a second,  I did like that the Pho was offered in 3 different sizes.  A large bowl ($5.95) a small bowl ($4.95) and a Kidz bowl ($3.95) and yes it was spelled that way.  I went with the small bowl which was the perfect amount of food combined with the Banh Mi.  Pho is a noodle soup made with rice noodles (although I will admit I make mine with ramen) and a very rich, deep,  beef broth traditionally make with roasted oxtails.  it is served with a number of accompaniments that are added to the soup by the diner.  These include,  fresh basil, lime,  jalapeños or other hot fresh chills,  mung bean sprouts, and cilantro.  Pho is truly about the broth,  everything else is merely a side man to the superstar that is this rich beautiful broth.  Unfortunately Kian Gaing once again fell short.  It was at best just ok,  but i did not taste a single drop of love.  This so far has been par for the course for all the Pho I have tried in these parts. The broth is a little too dark to be chicken stock,  but flavor wise not that far off.  Maybe a dash of kitchen bouquet dropped into a gallon of chicken stock is their secret family recipe.  Once again,  a little bit harsh and I apologize.

Back to something positive.  It is CHEAP,  I mean REAL CHEAP.  Before tip our bill was $41 for 4 of us (this included 3 orders of spring rolls, bank mi,  3 bowls of Pho, a noodle dish,  and a tofu and veggie dish),  so basically you could get out of there for about $13 bucks a person without drinks.  Not that this review would give you any reason to go there,  but if you think I'm full of shit (which most of the time I am) It will at least be pretty light on the wallet.  Here's is a copy of our bill,  and the fancy tray it came on :)

So here are the specifics if you feel like going.  Located at 5845 Charlotte Pike (not to be confused with Giu Giang at 5823 Charlotte Pike) it is located in a strip mall that also contains K&S World Market,  there will be a small sign for K&S and the rest on Charlotte,  but you actually have to go up a hill to get into the parking lot.  It is open 7 days a week,  from 11am-9 pm (hard working folks,  so I feel bad for giving them a hard time)  Bring cash,  they do not accept credit cards.

So to bring it all back around,  you can fly first class from LA to NY, have and amazing meal, cocktails served in a crystal glass, and have your every need attended to,  but if you crash land into the Hudson River (and survive,  cause we all know that is entirely possible)  then what are you going to say about the flight?  Kien Giang had the makings of of a great, authentic, genuine Vietnamese joint,  but when it came down to the food....."It flew well,  but landed poorly"

My Pho with herbs and peppers from my garden

Until someone gets it right (and I am open to any and all suggestions) I'm going to stick with my own creation,  anybody wanna come over?